Lilith sat across me on one of the tables positioned next to the train’s window. A woman with long, dishwater blonde hair approached us and asked us if we were ready to give our orders. Lilith and I just wanted a cup of coffee. The woman disappeared from our sight and went to the kitchen to give our orders. Within a few minutes, our steaming hot coffee arrived. I put a sugar cube in it and began to stir it, looking out the window, seeing the familiar buildings of Division 1. We were heading off to Division 3, in a secluded recreation area in one of their forests.

I lifted the coffee cup to my lips and took a sip. The bittersweet taste of coffee filled my mouth and opened up my senses. I was about to strike another conversation with Lilith so as not to stay awkward with each other when she caught me off-guard and asked, “Did you love her?”

I choked on my coffee, spilling some of it on my suit. The heat licked my skin and I fought hard not to curse out loud in front of Lilith. I had to make an impression to her even if I didn’t like her one bit. She was the first daughter of Aurum, after all and I didn’t want her to come running to her father saying that I had no manners and had a horrible etiquette.I grabbed a napkin and started dabbing it on the fabric. This suit was new and now, it had a stain. Damn it. “Who?” I asked her innocently although I knew who it was she was pertaining to.

“Lauren Steel.” The name was enough to give me the chills. I fidgeted with the napkin and straightened the collar of my coat. I ran a hand through my hair and leaned back on the couch, watching the scenery speed past me.

“Did you love her?” she asked again and I could sense a hint of jealousy in her voice.

“Yes.” I said, straight to the point. “And I still love her.”

Lilith looked away, clearly hurt and dumbfounded at what I said.

“And I’ll keep loving her even if I have to go against Aurum.”

“I see,” she managed to say, her voice on the verge of breaking into sobs. “I knew you didn’t want the wedding anyway.”A tear rolled down her cheek. “I understand.” She smiled. “I understand because I love you, Jonathan.”

An excerpt from Chapter 23, “Steel”

Read more of this chapter:

http://www.wattpad.com/4343192-steel-the-aurum-trilogy-book-1-chapter-23

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http://www.wattpad.com/story/1196621-steel-the-aurum-trilogy-book-1

In my dream, the world was ending again and people were fighting. Blood was everywhere. It flooded the streets and kept oozing on walls. The sky was grim and dark, filled with storm clouds. Thunder roared in the sky and joined the sound of the ricocheting bullets and the smack of fists connecting with human skin and bone. Rain began to patter against the blood-streaked pavement and against my bare, hot skin fizzing it down and making it sizzle. I gazed at my surroundings, doing a full 360 and I see tall buildings and luxurious pieces of architecture. There was better infrastructure and more facilities. I realized I wasn’t in one of the poorer divisions I grew up in, I was in a richer one. In front of me were two large thrones, elevated by shining immaculately white marble steps. One throne was gold and the other was silver. On the golden throne was a familiar face I recognize. He was probably in his fifties but his body was still fit for his age. His hair was dark brown with streaks of gray amidst the dark color. It was combed back and revealed his face which wore a hardened and strict expression. From where I was standing, I could see his eyes, the color of the sky above me. He was dressed regally, in a what seemed to be an expensive coat and tie and one of his hands cupped his chin as he watched, with boredom, what was occurring in front of him. He was in charge of all this fighting. He was responsible for all this war and I had to stop him. I launched myself towards the throne, shoving masses of people with knives and guns in their hands. A gun fired and a bullet whirred in front of my face, almost grazing my nose. I skidded to a halt and felt my heart banging against my chest. I was that close to death. I kept on running, crouching when I needed to. I dodged an arm that was about to slash me with a knife’s serrated edge and ran faster, adrenaline rising, towards the marble steps. The man sitting on the grand and golden throne looked down on me with his eyes of metal, grinding me and piercing holes deep in my skin. He smiled as if to say, ‘Look at what they’re doing!’ and I recognized him. He was no other than President Knoxx.

My mouth gaped open and my eyes widened with amazement. I had just walked straight into a trap. His fist connected with my jaw which sent me staggering backwards and tumbling over the marble steps. My head hit the floor and my vision dimmed and blurred. I was on the end of the steps and propped myself up with a hand just in time for the President to actually be able to kick my stomach and punch me on the nose, sending me down again, my head hitting the asphalt and bloody road. I felt my blood ooze from my skin and join the blood of those who had shed theirs before me. He took me by my collar and hurled me upwards, my feet barely touching the ground. His hands clasped my neck and he squeezed it, draining the air out of me. I was choking and everything was narrowing down to nothingness. My lungs struggled so hard to get more oxygen and I wriggled my feet, reaching down to the blood-soaked ground but his grip was so tight and I couldn’t manage to move or even fight back. Everything was fading into colors of black and gray. I shut my eyes. I was going to die now. He was going to kill me. I was going to die in the hands of President Knoxx.

An excerpt from Chapter 22, “Steel”

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http://www.wattpad.com/4326826-steel-the-aurum-trilogy-book-1-chapter-22

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All the glitters are gone.

She stands in front of the mirror, her hair tumbling down her shoulders in loose curls. Her eyes look back at her, reminding her of the wonderful evening, reminding her of the magical night, reminding her of memories created, slow dances swayed, compliments uttered and stories exchanged. The water dripping from the faucet brings her back to reality, to a world where sleep is necessary, to a world where one does not stay forever young. One last look, she says to herself as she sets down the loose curls so that it tumbles above her breasts and not her back. She smiles, her pink lipstick gone as it clung on wine glasses and silverware. She takes one look before the water smudges the rouge on her cheeks and erases the intricate lines drawn on her eyelids. The smoky eyes are now gone, and black tears rain down under them as the paint washes away with water and goes down the drain. She rubs off the color, returning her face into plain, old Jane. She takes one look, and her heart sinks. The night is over.

All the glitters are gone.

Inspired by prom night :)

“Hmmm…” President Knoxx began, looking at me with interest as he leaned back on his chair. “Tell me about your plan, Mr. Daniel Deveraux.”

I grinned. “I need to make her fall in love with me.”

President Knoxx raised his eyebrows, clearly surprised at what I was about to do.

“You see, President, in case I won’t be able to take her down in physical combat, I would go straight for her heart and once I have her under my snares, she has no chance of escaping.”

President Knoxx nodded. “What if she doesn’t fall for you?”

“Then, friendship would be another option.” I assured him.

“What if she doesn’t want to be friends with you?”

“I’ll make sure she would.”

“What if your plan fails, do you have any other option?”

“I’d get her myself. I’d use violence against a woman if I have to.”

The President let out a faint laugh. “You are very courageous, Mr. Deveraux. I assure you that you’ll be a great leader someday.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

“Maybe you could teach Jonathan Kress a thing or two about obedience.”

“Ah, Jonathan.” I shook my head. “He was never submissive, Sir.”

“You two are very different indeed. I’m glad you chose the right side to fight for.”

“Thank you, Sir.” I acknowledged. “So, what can you say about my solution to this predicament?”

“It’s risky, Daniel.” President Knoxx admitted.

“I know, Sir.” I agreed, flashing another wicked grin. “But it’s riskier bringing with me thirty men and having her kill each one of them. She’ll spot us quickly and she’ll be able to find a way to evade. All the more that we won’t catch her.”

President Knoxx nodded.

“You’ll need everyone you can get to prepare for the incoming attack of The Alliance.” I pointed out. “And I assure you, President Knoxx. This is more effective than sending thirty of your best soldiers with me.”

“Can I trust that what feelings you show her will remain a mission only?”

I chuckled, running a hand through my hair. “Of course, Sir. My loyalty has always been The Control’s.”

He smiled and nodded. “Very well, Mr. Deveraux, your mission begins tomorrow.”

An excerpt from Chapter 13 of Steel

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“Love is a choice.”

An excerpt from Chapter 28 of my novel, “Steel”. Hope you enjoy it! Happy hearts day!

            “So, Jonathan, confession time. Was there any girl besides Lilith that you dreamed of being paired to?” 

            I sucked in a deep breath. No, Lauren. Do not expect your name to be on that list. Do not assume that what happened between you and Jonathan was something that he’d take seriously. It was just a kiss. Stop your puny illusions. 

            Jonathan was speechless. I waited for an answer. 

            “Oh come on. I’m sure Lilith has her own list too.” She turned to Lilith again who was blushing all the way. Polygamous woman. 

            “Yes!” Lilith responded immediately. “Let me name some of them-Robert Swift, Bryce Lennington, Mark Stellan and Chad Benson.” She all mentioned these names in a proudly manner.

            “See?” Sylvia turned to Jonathan. “There’s nothing wrong with it. Open up, Jonathan. You used to do that all the time with us.” 

            “Actually,” Jonathan began and I could feel my heart stopping at the sound of his smooth and suave voice. “There’s no one I imagined being paired up with other than Lilith.” 

            The crowd let out another ‘Awww’ as they sympathized with the couple. I let out a sigh. Was it of relief or was it of depression? Relief, of course. Relief that I didn’t mean anything to him. Relief that he has chosen to leave me alone and carry on with his arranged life. 

            “We’re  good to go.” Daniel said, walking up to me, a crepe in both hands. 

            “Thank you.” I said, taking one. Daniel steered me towards the exit but something held me back. 

            “But there was this one girl…” Jonathan spoke up, his voice trailing off. I turned around while Daniel kept walking. “There was this one girl I’ve never imagined being paired up with. I imagined choosing her.” 

            Even if he won’t say my name or even if he won’t admit it out loud, I knew I was that girl. I wasn’t assuming. I wasn’t dreaming. It was me.

            “I’ve always chosen her.” he said, carefully. No, Jonathan. You can’t say that. The Control will ruin your life. They’ll imprison you with one false word. “She changed me. She taught me to be more responsible.” I fought the urge not to laugh at this. “She gave me the best memories I’ve had in my life. And if I was to be paired again or given the chance to choose, it would be her. It would always be her.”

Read more at:

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1196621-steel-the-aurum-trilogy-book-1

I can’t blog much today. I still have a lot of paperwork to finish, and it’s already 12:08 in the morning. I wake up at 5, so I’ll be expecting my sleeping time to be around 1.

I feel so tired and drained. I don’t want to study anymore. I just want to sleep and take a rest.

So, I had no sleep at all last night, and look at me now:

I feel like I can keep working and working and working. I don’t feel lazy at all. In fact, I feel as if I can work all day without complaining. Its as if I drank fifteen cans of Red Bull and a dozen Espresso shots. I also feel like I can go ahead and party and dance for as long as I like. I feel so “chill”, and to think it’s our last ten academic days as Seniors. Boohoo.

But I can’t say I don’t want this. I love the feeling of not much workload.

Let’s get lost.

Let’s get lost.

Once in a while, we need to. We need to voyage into the labyrinth and allow ourselves to sulk in it, to memorize its twists and turns, to ponder on its complexity, to find our own way out. We need to face monsters and giants that can shatter your dreams and build them back. We need to travel deeper into the maze and find its heart, find the core that fuels you, the center that strengthens you. We need to be tried and tested. We need to know if we can untangle ourselves from the cobwebs of choices or break down the barriers that separate us from a better tomorrow. We need to be stronger, for if we fail to be strong, we fail ourselves and we fail others. Life’s maze needs to know if there is a way out. We need to know if through that way,  we can make it out.

Decisions. Decisions.

Until now, I still haven’t figured out which college I want to go to. I’ve been accepted into all six colleges I’ve considered, and right now, my choices have been narrowed down to three, namely, UP, Ateneo or UA&P.

I can say this will be one of the biggest choices of my life.

I can’t wait to be in college. I can’t wait to start from scratch and study about something I really want to learn. I can’t wait to feel the two to four hour lunches and face my professors. I can’t wait to do new things and new projects. I can’t wait to feel the vibes of a new campus and live a new life.

But deciding isn’t easy.

I’m scared that if I let go of this certain school, I’ll have regrets in the future. I’m scared that if I choose this school, I’ll soon realize that I’ll do better in the other campus I let go of. I’m scared that I won’t enjoy the program I’ve chosen in this school and find out that my ideal program was on this other school.

I know I’m lucky to already have a sure school, but I’m so confused right now. I don’t know where I’m going. The future is so unpredictable, and so am I. One minute I want to go to UP. On the next minute, I see myself in Ateneo. On the next, I think about the scholarship in UA&P and about how I can excel there. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.

I’m not good with decisions, and I’m scared to have regrets. I’m scared to make mistakes even though I know it’s part of human nature. I’m scared to hope for the best. I’m scared to lose chances, but right now, it’s all I’ve got. This time, random numbers and random people will not make decisions for me. This time, there is no plan. This time, everything’s unsure. This time, there’s no turning back. I have to pick one. And I have to pick one soon.